Mr Justice was once a sombre and dignified man. Grandiosity was his typical reaction to people’s misfortune. The thing with grandiose men is that they have very poor judgement because it is difficult for them to see things from other people’s perspectives. He wasn’t bothered about people’s circumstances; he would get straight to the point just to deliver speedy solutions. He would do anything to be recognised for his performance, which showcased that he knew how to spend taxpayers’ money wisely.
I guess we could blame his upbringing – he was raised to be ‘tough’. The only coping mechanism he knew was to numb himself to his feelings. His childhood trauma echoed through the years and made him a very punitive man unable to build healthy relationships with other people. At some point in his life however he noticed that there was something wrong with his attitude. He realised that his actions left too many people with scars; that his words left too many people bitter and disappointed. In a conversation with a friend named Magnus he said: ‘Nothing works the way I anticipated’.
Then the woman of his dreams comes along and her love changes him.
Mrs Justice (maiden family name Restorative) is a very kind lady. She is very understanding and compassionate. She is a good listener, treats everyone with respect and believes that everyone deserves to be heard. One of her most beautiful qualities is that she cares about her family and friends, and whatever she does she wants them to be part of her life. She is perceived by some to be a softie but we live in difficult times, in times of selective (or zero) tolerance and a perpetual fear of ‘the other’ – and ‘soft skills’ are not valued so much these days. When she was little, her family lived with some indigenous people who taught her how to mediate conflicts. In her adolescence, the family decided to travel the world but people of various nationalities reacted to their philosophy differently.
When Mr and Mrs Justice meet neither of them feel like it is love at first sight. Initially he has no intention of marrying her, he just wants companionship. For him she is all about emotions and he does not know how to manage her and her unrealistic expectations of life. I don’t think they take each other seriously at the beginning, and this is probably why it is such a slow courtship. Let’s not forget that they came from different walks of life and experienced different circumstances. Although it seems that they both share a deep affection for life, they use different tools to make it meaningful.
For a very long time she was looking for a right place in his life. There were times when she wanted to give up and enjoy her independent single life. Despite the fact that she sought relationship advice from others (Courts, Police, Prosecution), she was exceptionally patient and let things develop in their own sweet time. Deep down inside she knew that, – once she got through him – he would evolve into the better version of himself and together they could accomplish more.
Step by step they start to negotiate their expectations. He starts to enjoy her company and begins to appreciate her constant need to talk things through in order to come to some resolution. And then he finally falls head over heels in love with her and lets her restore his faith in true love.
Yet, their relationship isn’t simple; – far from it. I would even dare to say that it is a love – hate relationship. Furthermore, the nature of their relationship is prone to some exceptional external influences, mainly by the neo-liberal constructions of love. There are some who would disapprove of their relationship and say that it was a marriage of convenience. Others are still of the opinion that they would have been better off living apart as they had different visions of success and happiness in life.
Against all odds, they learnt how to forge a partnership that keeps their love protected, and in my view their marriage gives us all a beautiful image of a Justice relationship that can spread more love into the world.
From London with love.